she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
