Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This house was built for laser tag.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My legs feel like baby dolphins
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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