I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
