I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
