P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
nutella sex= disaster
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
