I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
