the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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