sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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