you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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