I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
