Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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