I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Be still, my beating vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize