I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I sprained my soul last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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