I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
