she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
