next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I understand Curling. That high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
