STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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