So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
