We're facebook friends in real life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My dick has a subreddit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
