Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
