I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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