The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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