It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
