I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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