why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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