Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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