he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
