And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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