And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
