I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
