So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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