Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
