The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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