so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
