honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
