This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
