He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
