singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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