I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
