I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize