It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
