I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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