good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
