your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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