I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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