I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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