Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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