Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
