like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
