Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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