Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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