is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
