I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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