i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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