Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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