That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
