just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
