your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
