So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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