I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
