it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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