Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Michael Bay diarrhea
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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