She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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