You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
