I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
