just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
